When most people who are in love and want to get married, they can allow their emotions, instead of common sense, to rule and so while most engaged couples will make sure to include their best friend from High school in the wedding invitations and run through a checklist of things to make the wedding as memorable and perfect as possible. Caterer, check,reception hall check,florist check,minister check and on and on, in fact they can’t stop gushing about it; but do they ever consider the following:?

Unequally Yoked?

I hear about it (mainly from women)from Christians who should know better, who marry someone of a completely different religion and belief system and cast aside all the biblical admonitions against marrying unbelievers. To the christian, Christianity is not a religion but a relationship with God and marrying an unbeliever will not strengthen your walk with Christ. Even if your fiance is a christian, you need to discuss each other’s beliefs as they can vary widely.

Being in a spiritual mismatch can cause strife, can cause you to turn away from your beliefs (Think King Solomon in 1Kings 11) and its especially important when deciding what values or beliefs you will instill in any children you two may choose to have.

We are told in the bible to live peaceably and respect people who don’t share our beliefs, but you certainly don’t have to marry them regardless of how they make your “feel” 2 Corinthians 6v14 says, we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.

Readiness

Are you ready to get married?, yes you say, I really love this person, we’re so right for one another; but are you the right person?, unless you do so introspection and determine if you have beliefs or habits that are not in line with what God’s commands in his word, how could you even think of getting married?

If you still smoke pot or still have that porn collection stashed under the bed or you have a temper or you are generally a bitter and angry person before marriage, you will be an angry person in your marriage. Just getting married alone will not fix bad habits. Work on becoming a better “you” before you even think of getting married.

Your Fiance: In their “Natural” state:

Have you ever seen your bride without all the make up or perfect hair?, Is your groom a total slob and you think I love him and when we’re married he’s going to change?, its not going to happen. The point being, if you haven’t been seeing each other long enough to see each other when you’re not dressed up to the nines or you may not look or smell your best, you might want to hold off on getting married. Being married is the real world, not some childish fantasy and unless you are able to accept the good and the bad, you really need to put things on hold until you are. This is really one more thing to put on your wedding planning checklist.

Pre marital counseling:

Too many people have a fairy tale, Hollywood or pollyanish view of marriage and marry based on emotions alone and all logic seems to go out the door. There is a real need for an objective third party, like a trusted family member and for Christians, that would be a local pastor or christian counselor to really weigh in to give you two as a couple, some sound advice. People these days are slowly realizing the need for pre-marital counseling, given the high divorce rate.

As more and more marriages end in divorce, many states are looking for ways to stop or at least slow the trend like The state of Louisiana, which gives couples the option of choosing a traditional or a covenant marriage (which can be dissolved only under more stringent circumstances or Lenawee County in the state of Michigan, which requires couples to undergo pre-marital counseling before being allowed to say “I do” (get married) in their jurisdiction.