Planning a wedding is a massive undertaking, and even the most organized bride may find it overwhelming to do all by herself. At some point, you have to let those around you pitch in and get things done for you. Knowing which tasks to delegate, and to whom, can be tricky to figure out.

A good rule of thumb when asking for help with your wedding is to play to people’s strengths. You will find this to be a good idea for several reasons. For one thing, if you are asking a friend to do something that she enjoys, you are much more likely to get an enthusiastic “yes!” to your request. Furthermore, you will definitely get better results when your assistants are working from their strengths rather than their weaknesses.

For example, if your maid of honor is a fantastic organizer, she could be the perfect person to keep a tally of the guest list. She can make a spreadsheet that tracks who was invited, who has responded, and who needs to be contacted for an answer. If she is willing, your maid of honor could even be the one to make the calls to the guests who have not sent in their R.s.v.p. cards by the deadline, but some people do not feel comfortable with that job, so don’t assume that you can hand that off to a friend.

On the other hand, let’s say that your maid of honor is flighty, but very artistic. Well, you certainly would not ask her to keep track of your head count, but she could be ideal for doing preliminary band auditions. Not only will this save you some time and legwork, but she might even love doing it. Remember that helping you with your wedding preparations should not cost your friends money, so if you are sending your maid of honor to see bands at an event that has a cover charge or serves drinks, be sure to pay her way.

Many brides will have an excellent cook in the family. Asking your mother or aunt to make all of the food for your wedding goes way beyond simple delegating, but one of these people might love to make your cake or help you with the menu tastings. Even if you still have to be involved in certain parts of the planning, having a helpful friend or family member with you can make it much easier to decide between options.

When you are wondering who else you might be able to delegate a job to, don’t forget about the groom! After all, it is his wedding too. Even if the bride is doing the majority of the planning and decision-making, you can still ask the groom to do all sorts of little things to ease your burden. Even if he is just running to the stationer to pick up the invitations and the chocolate shop for the favors, you will be grateful to save a little of your time.

Finally, don’t forget to show your gratitude for all of those who spent their own precious time to help you with your wedding. For the women, a nice gift would be a simple piece of jewelry that they can wear to your wedding. An engraved silver bracelet, for instance, is the perfect type of wedding jewelry to give as a thank you. Your friends will deserve it for all of the stress that they have helped to lift off of the bride!